To my own Stepmum

Dear Stepmum

I was having a think about the random path my life is going down and it has really woken me up to what you dealt with when you signed up for our dysfunctional instant-family.

I have never thanked you properly for everything you have ever done for me, and for my dad too.

I really appreciate the constant presence you are in my life, and I truly feel like you have been a very positive influence on me growing up – so thank you.

Thank you for giving me second chances. And for caring. And for our many long and random conversations in the kitchen – I loved those. Thank you for being there for dad since the beginning, even though it has been really really hard for you, too.

Thank you for being an amazing step mum and for bringing so many experiences into my life that I never would have had without you. I really respect your work ethic, and your commitment (or stubbornness, whatever you want to call it).

Thank you for being so funny! and for being honest with me, that’s important. I feel like I have always known where I stand with you.

Thank you for putting up with my crap and attitude when I was living in your home. Thank you for being so willing to open your home to me.

Thank you for my little brother. I cannot believe he is ten now. What a beautiful and thoughtful young man you have raised, I am so proud to call him my brother.

Thank you for taking such a big chance to come and be a part of our family. I love having you in my life.

I really appreciate you.

Thank you

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Dear Fiance

I’ve realized that it isn’t about forgiving you. For the rest of our lives I am going to forgive you over and over again for things you do, and you will have to forgive me over and over again too, so while forgiving you is important, it isn’t really the point.

What I really needed to realize was, regardless of anything that happened, whether we are still good for each other.

I fell in love with you a long time ago but im not still with you by default because of that. I’m still with you because I choose to be with you, every day that I wake up, every day that we are happy, every day that we have good times and every day that we have tough moments. I choose you over and over again.

I’m choosing you because you make me feel respected and loved and worth loving. I’m choosing you because even though its hard, I know how good we are together and because you bring out my best and I think I bring out your best too. I’m choosing you because you are my best friend.

I never want to stop thriving to be my best, for you.

The F Word…

The F Word...

Fiance. Friends. Family. Fiance’s Family. Fun.

I did promise myself I would capture the important moments, that the entire point of this blog was to remember those passing flashes of time.

The night we squeezed our closest friends and family into our tiny lounge and they all danced and danced and danced. These are the memories I will hold for ever. These are the people who are dancing through my heart.

…The state of the carpet the next morning did make me think of a different kind of F word.